a return to me

a few weeks ago, i set one of these free.

now, to just anybody, a yellow balloon might mean "party", "joy", that one from the bouquet found its way loose...

but to somebody close to me, it means i was willing to let go.

guilt

hatred of self

tired

alone

the what-if's

and the why-me's

and one very big one - sorry, it stays a secret.

the most amazing part of the experience was accepting the eagerness with which a balloon could leave the hand that holds it. it was ready - i was ready to allow it. i watched with a sensation close to pride as it drifted up, up into the sky, and stayed outside in the dark until i could no longer see it.

it was gone.

now i see something else on my horizon:

its my ship coming in.