on potty training:
"you are four years old. you have to shiz in the toilet. this is not one of those negotiations where we'll go back and forth and find a middle ground. this ends with you shizzing in a toilet."
on talking to strangers:
"listen up, if someone is being nice to you, and you don't know them, run away. no one is nice to you just to be nice to you, and if they are, well, they can go take their pleasant arse somewhere else."
on getting in trouble at school:
"why would you throw a ball in someone's face?... huh. thats a pretty good reason. well, i can't do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good."
on playing fair:
"cheating's not easy. you probably think it is, but it ain't. i bet you'd suck more at cheating than whatever it was you were trying to do legitimately."
on child safety:
"don't touch that knife. YOU never need to be holding a knife... i don't give a shiz, learn how to butter stuff with a spoon."
justin halpern - shiz my dad says
2 comments:
LOVE LOVE LOVE it!! I need to own this book asap! I just hope that one day I can be a sarcastic parent like this :)
Please....aidez-moi....can't stop laughing...ab workout. Love the part about potty training. Little Chuck has now learned how to clean out her own panties after an "accident" so stubborn I tell you...will it ever end?
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