a room with a view

thanks insurance - now, could we do something about that deductible?

2012-01-22T16:10:00.000-08:00

colby is going under on tuesday.

now, dont be worried - he is already far past worried and i couldnt possibly stand anybody else in my life being upset. he is having a minor outpatient surgery to correct an in-office snafu that happened years ago - and me being the meanest wife ever, i scheduled the appointments, told him to pick me up early from work because we were going to lunch, and then drove him to the surgeon's office. so mean.

its only because i care so much!

so, in anticipation of the bills that will surely arrive (surgeon, assistant surgeon, anesthesiologist), i believe i probably need a second job, or at least a higher paying one than i have now. if anybody care's to assist the western's "reconstruction" surgery (thats what im calling it - those of you close to me can laugh because you know whats really going down), please know i can be reached via phone or email and would love cash or check donations :)

totally kidding.

i will be paying for my university education for the next decade, whats one more expense?

the many hats of rosie western II

2012-01-15T11:50:00.000-08:00

Rose

Rosita

Littlest

Baby Bear

Scooby

Puppers

Rosebud

Rose Butterscotch MacGillicutty Western

this dog is my best friend.

to anyone who thinks this is weird, probably anyone who doesnt love animals or has never had a pet - i was once that person!, i still like you and i bet my dog will make you love her within the first five minutes of meeting you.

colby got me a best furry friend a few months before we got married. one of our favorite things to do was to walk around the pet stores and super pet adoptions and admire the puppies at play. one saturday of nonimportance, we were mingling at Bird World and saw the skinniest, tiniest, goose-feathery pup with shiny black eyes and i knew right then that this dog needed to be in my family. we held her and played with her and snuggled her, and left empty handed. she was all we could talk about the rest of the day and late into the night. we both knew she was special.

colby went back the next day.

i had a family party and was waiting for him to pick me up when he called and there was this little chirping scruffy bark in the background.

"who is that?"

"its rosie - thats the name you liked, right?"

and it has been five years of happy doggie.

since knowing her, i have never doubted Heavenly Father's love for me - why else would he spend time and energy creating such a special critter for humans to have as companions? she looks me in the eye when i talk to her or make commands to obey - people dont even do that! her happiness comes from ensuring my own, she wants to please me and earn treats and tickles by being good. and when i cry or colby and i fight, she looks right in my eyes and comes close, sometimes even paws my legs to be held, knowing it will make both of us feel better.

i love her like she is my own because i dont have one of my own. and when i do, and hopefully i do, i know rosie will love and protect that tiny human and acknowledge him to be the most important thing ever to come along into casa western. i love my husband, i do - and i love my family and my friends and plenty of awesome people, but i KNOW that rosie loves me back in a very special and different way that inspires zero doubt and nothing but security and importance and value of self.

okay, most of the time i know colby loves me too.

in fact, if he could love me like the dog loves me, no holding back, zero inhibitions, complete compassion, we would have husband of the decade here, people.

early countdown

2011-12-29T18:29:00.000-08:00

i have the sleepiest family ever.

rosie is asleep on colby's tummy while he snores away in the recliner with 'futurama' in the background. we were supposed to play tonight, but alas, feeling tired and comfy always takes precedence to the wife and momma.

if they didnt look so dang cute i might actually be mad.

we are feeling very post-christmas here at the western household... and by that i mean we are ready for a new year and excited to say goodbye to the crappiest year of them all, 2011. in a few days, the fireworks will be over, the midnight kisses spent, and we will have a new chance at a new year! wonderful things are happening, and hopefully others will happen, in 2012. just to name a few for us and some of the people we love:

the best, most deserving person i know is having her first baby.
an awesome couple is moving out of the country to have an adventure.
someone dear to me will be accepted to grad school - she will get in, no doubts here.
another stamp in the passport
losing in the hopes to gain it back for good cause
someone's missionary is home!
catching up financially
celebrating five years of the best puppers, and five of marriage during happy/sad, wonderful/insane, rich/poor, and desperately in love years to my best friend.

when people say they cant wait for the new year, i dont think they mean it like i do. i am so looking forward to growing and learning and watching the wonderful people around me progress into the lives they have built for themselves. i am so much harder on myself than anyone else would ever be, but 2012 will be a year of self-love and compassion for the person i am trying to become.

wishing you a love and joy filled new year. so happy for these new beginnings!

delightful+dreamy

2011-12-21T21:03:00.000-08:00

My sisters insisted I read The Night Circus and oh!

I LOVE it.

I want to be in it.

I want to see it!

And I really want to eat the chocolate covered caramel popcorn and visit the Lake of Tears. And I will probably fall in love with Marco and F. Thiessen. So good.

The last book I read that captured me like this was ... I dont even know, probably Witch of Blackbird Pond that I read every Halloween and still love as much as ever. I havent read, really read, a book since losing my mom and I think I might have forgotten how happy it made me to escape into magic and fiction and wonder, and it feels good to have that back.

Just in time for Christmas.

I bought this book for my bestie. Im so excited to give it to her! Books are one thing of many that we share and talk about and dream of and Im happy to pass this one along. Highly recommend!

first snowfall

2011-11-05T02:36:00.000-07:00

rosie woke me up just after one to piddle, and i havent been able to sleep since. i am in awe of the white blanketing the world outside. this is the first snowfall of the season, and the first snow to fall on my mom's final resting place. i hope she is watching with awe, like i am, at the peace and tranquility of life that comes with fresh white snow, covering the imperfections and making everything look perfect and whole.

mom always knew just how much to celebrate the seasons. she loved living in utah and the changes the weather brought year round. i remember one day in particular i was walking home from junior high in sleeting snow and rain, totally miserable and almost in tears at how awful and wet i felt. the second i walked in the door, mom took one look at me and immediately ran a shower; she said the only way i would ever be warm again was to start fresh. oh and was she ever right! moms just know, they know exactly what to do in pretty much any circumstance that seems impossible to a grumpy teenager. when i emerged from my hot rain shower that fogged the entire room, i found that she had set my pjs on my bed, her favorite ones, the ones that made me look and feel like a little girl, i think they had christmas reindeer on them, along with fluffy cushy socks. you always wore socks at my house. if mom saw you walking around without socks she would go get you a pair, make you sit down, and put them on your feet herself. she got me the socks with the grippies on the bottoms every year for either my birthday or christmas. anyway, after feeling warm and clean and comfortable, i walked into the kitchen where mom had made my favorite soup, tomato garden, cheese toast, and was cocktailing herself and me a diet coke with lime - not the dc with the lime already in it, the real stuff, with lots of ice and a straw. and her care and special compassion to me grumpily walking home from school on this friday afternoon completely turned my day around, and we started talking about how beautiful the snow made everything look. it didnt occur to me until this very minute of typing that mom had already spent about three hours in the cold that same day as me, and couldnt have been home much longer than i was, and instead of nursing her own cold bones and tired feet she took care of me.

oh momma, i miss you.

she loved the snow and ice so much that when patrick was in africa she had me walk the neighborhood with her after church one sunday with a camera and take pictures of the frozen trees and bushes. she thought he might be missing the white and the cold, and the beauty of the world when it is cold and still. im not a photographer by any means, but when we printed the film and got ready to send it off she made me feel like an artist for simply capturing what she saw as magical that everyone else saw as bbrrrrrrrr.

maybe tomorrow, well in a few hours, i will have to go visit her and take a wreath or something, anything to celebrate the first pure white snowfall since her passing. she would love that, i bet.

broadcasting live from orlando, fl

2011-10-10T05:05:00.000-07:00

wassup, rocky mountain dwellers!

epcot park today - will see remy from ratatouille and eat at his restaurant. cant wait! excited for mission space and soarin', and world showcase! more to come!

lonely today

2011-09-29T17:42:00.000-07:00

almost all of the things i am good at and get noticed for i learned from my mom. she taught me how to shape my eyebrows, how to cook winning meals that everyone loves, how to speak softly and kindly to end an argument, how to love everyone, how to take small shy insecure people under my wing, and so so much more. and i never told her thank you.

i wish i had realized all of this before now. i wish i could hug her and tell her "thank you thank you" for teaching me how to be decent. and how to tame the uni-brow.

love you, momma.

"upside down is simply a change of perspective."

2011-08-21T17:48:00.000-07:00

we are learning and loving and trying and working.

and being happy.

there is so much love i want to extend to the wonderful people who have continued to be wonderful. i wish i could scoop you all up in my hands and put you in my pockets to carry you around on adventures with me, and that i could wrap you up in cozy soft white blankets and nuzzle a rosebud on your lap. these are ways i say "i love you!"

thank you thank you! kiss kiss.

my thoughts exactly.

2011-08-19T16:48:00.001-07:00

a 10 year old's wisdom

2011-07-25T15:28:00.000-07:00

today me and the ladybird took a leisurely dub (we cant say w-a-l-k in this house, so we started just saying "w", and got lazier) to the neighborhood walgreens because i had some rewards bucks that were going to go the way of all things in a few short days. and because colby had the car. so we were walking folks today.

when we walk somewhere she is not allowed inside of, i loop her leash around a pole and click it back into her harness so she is safe and secured, albeit a little trapped and immobile. she has about 18 inches of leash to work with here - so most of the time she just watches me through the windows or flirts with the people walking by.

when i finished getting my freebies (mostly chocolate, if you know my life you know why), i followed these two little cutie kids out the door to rosebud. they were a little boy and girl, probably no older than ten judging by their purchases of whatever gummy candy could fit into their hands and back pockets. the boy starts loving on rosie, talking to her and petting her, and as i started untangling the leash, he asks me

"are you her mom?"

so of course i said yes.

then he asks if i want him and his sister to stand in the automatic doorway, one in one side, one in the other, so i can keep my eye on rosie while im in the store. i told him thank you for the offer, but we were just saddling up to walk home, and she's a pretty good doggie, especially because she doesnt have much trouble she can get into being on the leash.

after a few seconds, the kids decided they agreed with this.

so they finished their loving, i turned to walk west and they headed north. we haven't walked far when i heard their conversation:

"leashes would work on people kids, too."

"yeah, but prolly not bird kids... or cat kids, because cat kids are tricky."

"can moms go on leashes?"

"if they did, you'd never have to yell for a sammich because she will be close and know when you want one."

because life is far shorter than we realize

2011-07-19T19:31:00.000-07:00

i am on my own path.

my path is not dictated by anyone but me.

i will not compare my path to another's.

doing so is like trying to find the better peach

in a basket full of beauties, or seeking out the

radiance of a dancer watched unknown.

inspired by her:

liz

art borrowed from:

last delight

i saved us $400

2011-07-16T12:29:00.000-07:00

the battle is over. one has been defeated. in the epic fight of

Des V. 60 year old bathtub

the bathtub has succumbed to the cleaning of a lifetime, and relinquished all holdings of weird stains and gray matter, to once again (presumably, in all my encounters with the tub it has been not pretty) shine like new.

we were in talks to replace the dang thing, but were saved by one Magic Eraser. i swear i am buying stock - it is my new religion.

what a confidence boost! i might not make a lot of money, or be able to get an awesome job, or have tons and tons of popular friends, but dammit! i can clean!

hot stuff

2011-07-02T17:39:00.000-07:00

i will be the first to acknowledge that i complain too much about certain things - mostly being hungry, tired, or overheated. it makes me feel better if i can unload some of this burden from me and make somebody else share it, hence the vocal-ness.

suffice it to say that its hot, too hot in fact, and there are many times each day that i find myself griping about how miserable i am. colby absorbs my grief like any other husband and advises that i simply "take my pants off". but alas, this story is not about how hot i am, but how hot and uncomfortable he was this morning.

colby was going with some man friends up the hill in bountiful for a bike ride early this morning. he was up early early, and moving around the house and maneuvering his mountain bike into its proper place on the car. he finished around 7:30, and i heard him griping about how hot it was already, and that it was just going to be a million times worse up on the hill. why was he going? he wondered aloud, he was just going to overheat, pass out, not be able to pee, etc.

so as his help-meet through life, i suggest the one thing i know that works for me:

"hon, let me make you something to eat."

he hops in the shower, presumably a cold one, while i crack a couple of eggs into the frying pan on the stove. now, it needs to be mentioned at this point that our kitchen faces east with a large, clear window view into our neighbor's immaculate garden. when max is out and about, often early early like we both were this morning, and working next to the fence line, if we see each other usually we will wave. i have seen the outside view of our kitchen window from his property line, and it is shockingly clear.

so we continue with the cooking of the eggs. max was not in view. or outside for that matter.

i plate up the scramble, colby likes his on top of toast, and take my plate into the other room. colby emerges from the shower and i call out that his food is ready. he walks naked from bathroom down the hall into the kitchen, picks up his plate and says "max is waving at me and im naked holding a plate of scrambled eggs."

des: "well wave back!"

he did.

we love max. and being the awesome old man he is, theres the small chance he couldnt really see... well, thats what i kept telling colby.

so brief

2011-06-28T20:33:00.000-07:00

interview tomorrow

"Sookie!"

for sale

3 joggers, 1 on 4 legs

exhausted but excited

unfortunate hypertension

coupons, coupons, coupons

sneeze

joyful for others

and hopeful for self!

boy, that was a misfire

2011-06-12T14:24:00.000-07:00

yesterday i bought colby a few presents at the Old Navy shorts sale early in the morning. apparently he doesnt like what i brought home, when both my sister and i sat at the store agreeing how the coloring and plaid-ness on those shorts is "sooo colby".

guess he and i will be spending some time getting to know each other's fashion doppelganger again...

look it up

2011-06-02T21:08:00.000-07:00

Ong Namo

Guru Dev Namo

Oh my Beloved,

Kindness of the heart,

Breath of Life,

I bow to you

Divine Teacher,

Beloved Friend,

I bow to you

again and again.

Lotus sitting on the water,

beyond time and space,

this is your way,

this is your Grace.

Thank you, Snatum Kaur. And Infusion Yoga and Pilates for introducing us. It is time to be the lotus on the water and embrace the tides of change that scare us and excite us. But mostly scare us. My heart is full of love, hoping peace will follow.

linen or silk, fruit or flowers

2011-05-31T20:27:00.001-07:00

sunday is a special day for us. and the above mentioned items are the traditional gifts for a four year anniversary. a wife must have made this list because everything on it would make a husband cringe to receive. i normally try to be really cute and clever with these, such as:

year one: paper

tickets to a concert with our fav bands

year two: cotton

new dress shirts and pants for a cruise we took

(okay so the shirts were cotton and the pants were wool, working off of technicalities here)

year three: leather

symbolically, this was the year colby was forgiven for his monstrous offense of bringing the motorcycle into my life - leather seat.

more literally speaking, i got rosie a new going-out collar for when she pulls him on the longboard. so leather was a tricky year...

and it gets more difficult. linen is too much like cotton, silk sucks and is dry clean only, and fruit or flowers could be pretty gay in the wrong connotation...

which shall it be, folks?

for someone amazing

2011-05-27T17:45:00.000-07:00

welcome to the world, little baby.

it was rough on you and the people who love you the past few days, but i am so happy you are here with us at last. i cant really say why you have struck such a chord with me because i love the babies and bigger babies who have joined our family with a strength i never understood as a child, but only as an adult. i want wonderful, magical things for you. i hope for peace and puppy dogs and so much love and happiness that it almost hurts how good it feels to be loved this much!

but of course it doesnt.

because the good pours over into everyone around you.

next page, next chapter, next season

2011-05-10T19:50:00.000-07:00

colby and i are getting trainers. well, i want us to. im super motivated right now because last night we met with a potential trainer who will help us get where we want to be.

there will be sacrifices on many sides - right now the biggest challenge is thinking up where we will get extra $$$ every month. hmmm... probably no more haircuts or coloring, no more unnecessary driving to see the sights, gotta cut back on the outings to movies, and just plain old trimming down the budget.

i have thought about it all day!

i even told our gym guy that i dont care what size i am or what i weigh - i just want to feel good. and i get the impression that he gets that. we will set some goals and do this together. thats the best part - i keep colby on his toes, and he will do the same for me.

lets see what happens!

shiz!!

2011-05-09T16:17:00.001-07:00

we owe back-taxes this year.

this has never happened before. and we kind of freaked. so i have been working with our friends at the IRS to break up our lump sum into more manageable payments.

this adventure began approximately 90 minutes ago. i have been transferred twice, spoken to two humans for a total of about three minutes, and on hold for freaking ever! the on-hold music is the worst ever - "the sound that makes you wanna punch a baby".

as soon as this is done, im so buying myself a Karamel Sutra Ben and Jerrys and watching Netflix in my pajamas tucked into bed with a puppers by my side.

old bones

2011-04-27T18:59:00.000-07:00

im a very bad momma.

or a very good one.

its all about perspective...

no shame

2011-04-19T16:39:00.000-07:00

an opinionated man-child got under my skin yesterday.

so i tried my best to set him straight.

he was extra judge-y and preachy and, worst of all, LOUD about it.

now, things got tricky at this point because someone in the group defended him saying "thats just who he is" - great, be yourself and thats cool. but when your true self starts picking at others and digging at them trying to make yourself bigger and more important, that means your true self is really just a JERK.

i bumped into this loud individual again today - and our interaction was the same but not. he was a mean idiot, and i just smiled and said that i hoped he had a great day - not in the snotty way i wanted to, but in my genuine self trying to overlook what had happened the day before.

heres my secret:

i dont for one second care about what this person thinks of me. not a bit.

i mean it!

so what if someone in your life thinks less of you for something you have no control over? hello! who is this person who walked into my thoughts? he is not worthy of being stressed over.

i just got a text message from the best friend i have right now. she said im "so real its amazing" - what a compliment! the REAL people in my life know me for my wonders and my faults, and love me anyways.

recent

2011-04-07T18:31:00.001-07:00

while everyone else has been off making babies and taking finals, colby and i have been up to:

filing our taxes - owing uncle sam a cool five hundy for being working individuals, homeowners, and that childless couple not on medicaid... wow, i think im more bitter than i realized...

readying the yard for spring! not that it matters today on this blustery snowy white evening. the lawn is aerated, the bugs have been banished, and the ivy from old lady neighbor's yard has been trimmed back.

logging serious hours at the gym. i demand health from both of our bodies! and even though i dont especially care about it, i lost 4 lubs as of two weeks ago... probably even more now.

reinforcing good relationships, with the people who matter and the ones we wished mattered more. a few days ago, i was given some wonderful advice - the kind of sage advice you wish for but dont often accept. its no secret that i have a tense relationship (at best) with my parents, but its also fairly clear to me as of recent that my participation in this dynamic allows me to make whatever changes i want. so MOM - its not about me or what happened to me in my past anymore; its about YOU. and thats fine - wouldnt want it any other way right now. the next chapter of my life will have more of you in it, and together we will celebrate the wonderful things happening to us and the people and the babies and the puppies we love.

as always, i must mention my latest affirmation/power statement:

I WAS CREATED FOR A GRAND PURPOSE.

this is what love looks like

2011-03-29T20:09:00.000-07:00

"you cant plan a good themed brunch in seven days"

2011-03-26T10:57:00.000-07:00

lovely lovely

2011-03-24T19:15:00.000-07:00

finally! the most recent novel by sarah addison allen is available for download! i love love love her work - so sweet and clever, a must read for any female needing a little magic.

this is so what i need right now!

a springtime love story read... sigh.

body pump : a love story

2011-03-17T19:46:00.000-07:00

i am a weak ass.

but all things are temporary!

i have good people in my life who keep me in check and dont let me drown in the chaos that is my life lately. i am grateful for the girls who send me the encouraging texts and make the demanding phone calls that i promptly "get my booty to class!" on tuesday and thursday evenings. it is too easy for me to tell myself to stay home and collapse under the weight of all that is happening - and the distraction of cardio and weight lifting set to annoying hip hop has been exactly what i needed.

let me say for clarification that i am not a numbers person - my weight is a number and numbers do not control my thoughts. the only thing i want from my body is health and energy to live and love for as long as i can. some recent developments have led me to decide for myself that i will always work to be healthy in body and mind so i can be the best wife, momma, daughter and sister possible - i will not make my loved ones suffer for my ill health or depressed mind.

the book im studying now for women's group mentions "mental housecleaning" quite a bit, how we take inventory of what we think and feel, and make decisions about what can stay with us or what needs repair or what needs to be thrown out. today i dismiss the notion i am worthless, small, ignored, stupid, a b*@& (have been called that more in the past month than i would like to admit), and just generally useless as a friend and support.

also starting today, i choose to believe.

i accept myself as i am.

i change what i can - i release what i cannot.

i LOVE myself, in the way i know God loves me.

i am lovable. i have two best friends who never let me forget.

a not so likely recommendation

2011-02-21T16:41:00.000-08:00

i LOOOVE to read.

i will give any book 100 pages to grab me and make me want to continue. if at the end of those pages, i hate the story and everything about it i stomp around and whine for a bit, then promptly pick up a new one.

i am currently reading this book.

and im really liking it.

its got murder, secrets, revenge, politics, and bad ass female characters - woo!

the funny thing is that i never would have found it on my own.

do you know why?

what if i told you the genre was "fantasy"?

see! i knew you would say that!

"ugh" was the first thought i had about this one, too.

this series was recommended to me by andy - colby's WOW friend. i know, multiple red flags here, and im not blind to them. alternate reality game player wanted me to read fantasy novel.

but it passed the 100 page test.

in fact, it passed the 300 page test last night...

wisest of words

2011-02-08T17:35:00.000-08:00

"don't focus on the one guy who hates you. you don't go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shiz."

twitter.com/shizmydadsays

i feel joy today

2011-02-07T16:46:00.000-08:00

"when you're happy for yourself, it fills you. when you're happy for someone else, it pours over. it was almost too bright to watch."

from Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen

a return to me

2011-02-02T19:45:00.000-08:00

a few weeks ago, i set one of these free.

now, to just anybody, a yellow balloon might mean "party", "joy", that one from the bouquet found its way loose...

but to somebody close to me, it means i was willing to let go.

guilt

hatred of self

tired

alone

the what-if's

and the why-me's

and one very big one - sorry, it stays a secret.

the most amazing part of the experience was accepting the eagerness with which a balloon could leave the hand that holds it. it was ready - i was ready to allow it. i watched with a sensation close to pride as it drifted up, up into the sky, and stayed outside in the dark until i could no longer see it.

it was gone.

now i see something else on my horizon:

its my ship coming in.

on my side

2010-12-21T19:14:00.000-08:00

becky andrews.

this is the woman who saved my life.

she has been, most deservedly, nominated for Wasatch Woman of the Year. please follow the link to vote for her and read her incredible story - its all you need to get me for Christmas.

http://www.wasatchwoman.com/wwy.php

rosie outtakes

2010-12-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

sympathy pains

2010-11-28T16:50:00.000-08:00

feeling some of colby's pain today.

the boy lives to snowboard. in the past years, we have been fortunate enough to manage a season pass for him to Da Bird, but this season is different. in replacing the smaller subaru to take the big momma sexy beast home, he made the concession that he would not be getting a pass.

irony: now that we have a super safe car to get up the mountain, we can no longer afford to send him there.

so today i am watching Warren Miller films running the circuit on Showtime while he is out shoveling the walk. feeling just a little bit of his regret at the beautiful powder falling down.

"two roads on The Big Island, and you messed up both of them?!"

2010-11-24T17:00:00.001-08:00

black sand beach - the volcanic fallout on this particular beach.

akaka falls

scenic lookout with a very hawaiian name. impossible to say and more impossible to type. sacred valley according to local legends - visitors told to be quiet and respectful. too pretty, too perfect. still not convinced it wasnt a backdrop...

kitty cabana

my furry friend, one of many. the big island has a feral feline infestation. i tried a few times to pet some of them, and after a while they would let me get kinda close. its funny how they would just plop on the lava rocks like it was something comfortable. and those rocks get really hot too. silly kitties.

hawaiian sunset.

temple at laie.

pearl harbor.

submarine tour. not for the claustrophobic. doors and other passage ways are only three feet. mike kept laughing at the tiny asian woman directing tourists from the restricted area who also appeared to be narcoleptic...

colby's uke. guess what i brought back from vacay? a freaking tee shirt.

a not so delectable taste

2010-10-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

of whats to come in ARWAV.

i wish i could say i saw this kid in hawaii, but alas, i simply ripped it off of google. he is standing in his underwear at Akaka Falls on the big island of hawaii, a magnificent cascade the likes of which i have never seen before.

this was just one of many scenic places colby and i and colby's family visited while we were away for what i wish was R and R, but quickly became A and I - arguing and ignoring. The ignoring was done by colby and i, and you guessed it! Arguing by the pros themselves - the Westerns!

all in all, it was a fine trip. i still hate flying, am scared to death of fish touching me or brushing against me, and will never travel with inlaws ever again if they insist on driving all day, every day without giving somebody without a visual or hearing impairment a chance to rotate into the drivers seat. im not kidding, mike could never remember where he parked the car, and twice tried to break into somebody else's taurus. plus he struggled with the keyless entry - its like the damn remote was more complicated than my Dish network one or something; he would pop the trunk instead of unlocking the doors. every day, folks. every day.

for ten days.

i think i deserve another vacation. dont you?

a happy tale of a shrinking waist

2010-09-21T19:05:00.000-07:00

once upon a time, when career and money didnt matter, there was a young diva princess who tried to master the art of modern dance with the intent to be famous and perform for decades, teaching and sharing her knowledge with many. she was fit - oh so fit! skinny and strict professors and aides pushed her body to its limits, resulting in eight trips to physical therapy, a crack in her front tooth from taking a heel to the chin, and countless ice packs and tubes of ben gay. it was in the wonderful world of The Alice Sheets-Marriott Center for Dance that she met for the first time the pilates machine. it was a romance of legend. together, the princess and the machine were unstoppable.

fast forward to NOW, when the princess sits on her caboose all day making rich doctors richer, and its not hard to imagine how soft the once rock hard body has become. four flights of stairs is seemingly impossible, a brisk jog to gailey park with rosebud can just about finish her off... so sad.

but not to fear! from the skies and stars and magic-ness above, the pilates machine has entered the princess' life yet again! she is getting another chance to be super hot and toned, and hopefully this time, the romance can be forever!

a very furry weekend

2010-09-07T17:43:00.001-07:00

laura and cosmo, mike and rachel's baby puppers

these other pictures are from "dog days of summer" sponsored by west valley city. rosie and penny girl socialized with lots of dogs and made tons of friends.

rose in her floatie vest. i know its silly and stupid, but it had a handle so we could just reach in and grab her from the pool way easy.

rosie is on the left, and libby the cairn is on the right. they met and just looked at each other for a minute. rosie had never met another cairn before, so she looked at libby like "hey!" they followed each other around. so cute.

me trying to wrangle two soaking wet dogs.

rosie would not stop barking.

grumpy ole mike.

action shot.

penny girl. she is under the weather right now. her back is injured pretty badly, but hopefully she can recover and be back to full-penny strength.

i never thought i would be overcome with gratitude for a toilet

2010-08-20T14:27:00.001-07:00

there was quite the plumbing disaster monday night at the western abode.

the poetry that is colby's facebook status:

"Roto rooter came to the house and pulled out a root octopus!

Drains are clean, root monster is dead. I stabbed it with a screwdriver"

he also insisted on keeping the said monster that emerged from the main, accessed via the plumbing under the toilet. it currently resides on my back step.

long and gross story short and made un-gross, i am grateful that its 2010 and that we have running water, both incoming and outgoing. especially outgoing.

just another day at the office

2010-08-14T11:48:00.000-07:00

"so... the lasagna's $40, but the toast is free!"

2010-08-11T17:32:00.001-07:00

disclaimer: so few wonderful, hilarious things happen around me on a day to day basis that if something amazing does occur (at the expense of anyone, most likely the older adults in my life) i will tease and laugh about it for probably the rest of the year.

in the spirit of making fun of things silly dads say or do, let me begin:

i wish i had a camera for the day i accidentally took the corner brownie from the pan - you know, the one with two sides of crunchies from baking on the edges instead of just one. mike, colby's dad, just stared at me, and then finally reached his hand out to stop me from taking a bite. now, im fully aware of a large percentage of the silly things his family is known for, as he is somewhat partially aware of the circus that is my family - but this was a new one. we sat there around the kitchen table, all of us, with mike sitting across from me hand outstretched and like 4 inches from my face, when laura or jordan (cant remember) yelled at him to move his hand because it was blocking the tv.

westerns yelling is nothing new. westerns paying closer attention to Idol or Extreme Home Makeover than protecting the only young woman in the family from a weird guy trying to either smack her or rip her brownie from her hand is, unfortunately, the norm.

he still didnt say anything, so i just put my brownie back on my plate and shoved myself away from the table - like animals around the watering hole, i wanted to clearly show how i was not at all a threat. i even made eye contact, trying to say "here, you should totally take this excellent specimen. its your house, bro. i get it."

i graciously surrendered the perfect brownie. mike's slow attempt at grabbing my plate was interrupted by the annoying little brother suddenly realizing what i had and snatching it up, taking a huge bite, then tossing it back on the plate, a crummy, soggy brownie mess. no respect.

the frustration that followed!

"JORD!" > colby does the best impression - he is pretty much dead on.

oh, the difficulties of the caveman!

deep thoughts

2010-08-06T16:11:00.000-07:00

on potty training:

"you are four years old. you have to shiz in the toilet. this is not one of those negotiations where we'll go back and forth and find a middle ground. this ends with you shizzing in a toilet."

on talking to strangers:

"listen up, if someone is being nice to you, and you don't know them, run away. no one is nice to you just to be nice to you, and if they are, well, they can go take their pleasant arse somewhere else."

on getting in trouble at school:

"why would you throw a ball in someone's face?... huh. thats a pretty good reason. well, i can't do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good."

on playing fair:

"cheating's not easy. you probably think it is, but it ain't. i bet you'd suck more at cheating than whatever it was you were trying to do legitimately."

on child safety:

"don't touch that knife. YOU never need to be holding a knife... i don't give a shiz, learn how to butter stuff with a spoon."

justin halpern - shiz my dad says

frolic

2010-08-04T18:58:00.000-07:00

king louie - first trip to kaysville

rosebud was ever so sweet.

best of puppy friends.

NOOK!

2010-07-26T15:42:00.001-07:00

when colby gets in trouble for not doing the dishes or replacing the empty roll of tp when he says he will, he usually tries to pull from his line of credit. you know, the im-married-to-you-and-i-do-nice-things-for-you-all-the-time line of credit. for example, he put a surprise bag of pb m&ms in my purse, and that night when i was about to get grumpy for laundry not put away, he quickly said "but i snuck a bag of candy into your purse for you to take to work!"

...

how the h am i supposed to still be mad? the boy has figured out how to work the system. and now i have to award him a significant amount of credit in the bank because he got me a present - i have a Nook! its an Ebook and i love it. super cute. currently am reading Deception Point and Sh** My Dad Says simultaneously. amazing, right? consider my mind blown - i think the last really cool techno gadget i laid my hands on was an Ipod, and that was like 2 years after the fact.

so watch my back, friends. colby will no doubt be attempting to schedule LAN parties, motorcycle rides, WOW adventures, and other various activities with the counterpoint of "remember when i got you a Nook??"

and i will have no choice but to allow the monstrosities to occur.

apologies in advance

2010-07-20T18:17:00.000-07:00

for writing yet another post about my sweet rosiebear.

in case you are wondering, i do indeed realize that she is a dog - not a baby - but you will lose the argument if we disagree about the reality of her amazing spirit. we make her be good and clean so she can get into heaven with us! i didnt know i had the potential to love a scruffy, sometimes grouchy, a little bit crazy, but always cuddly, puppers.

hm.

pretty sure she learned it from this guy...

caved

2010-07-06T19:48:00.000-07:00

alas. i have succumbed to yet another trendish fad. two chapters down and so far feeling mildly interested and seriously pissed at the government. there's always more of us than there are of them, people!

a note on resilience

2010-06-30T15:42:00.000-07:00

by 5 pm every day, my plant and i feel about the same.

droopy.

melted.

defeated.

tired.

lame.

weak.

i might ask myself, "what exactly about today wore me down so bad?" - for which i of course have no specific answer, just a general yuck-i-hate-the-heat feeling, im probably tired of working to put money into someone else's pocket, and am most likely hungry. no surprises there.

colby always has a wind-down moment when he gets home, and it usually involves the computer or a long chat on his phone with one of his many dude friends. if there is trash to be taken out, mail to be fetched, or any other number of mundane duties waiting for him, they must simply continue waiting until he is good and ready to face up to them.

this is something that i love and hate about him.

and he has taught me to relax a bit about things. did you know that dirty dishes dont actually control your life? or that a pile of unfolded laundry in the living room when the home teachers drop by is not something they will report back to their supervisor as cause for necessary intervention?

so this is a good thing, this relaxing and rebounding from my day.

all the plant needs is a little time and a nice, stiff drink and she is back to business and looking even more robust than she did that morning. time is all it takes. the green leaves will always fluff back up, the stems will always support the blooms.

always.

even if it was 104 degrees - even if the sun beat down mercilessly - even if the wind blew the seemingly delicate sprouts from side to side, this plant will stand up straighter and meet the rest of her day with dignity.

"crazy is my favorite flavor"

2010-06-26T10:41:00.001-07:00

please, PLEASE read dan bergstein's blogging Breaking Dawn along with me.

http://community.sparknotes.com/2010/06/24/blogging-breaking-dawn-part-1

all im asking for here is some freaking closure on this ridiculous story. think of this as a book club read in reverse...

outed

2010-06-22T15:48:00.000-07:00

i am an individual living with depression and fighting it everyday.

i am now in a current state to be honest with myself and everyone in my world about my illness. these are to me what diabetes, asthma, or Aspergers are to others. i can almost lovingly think of these facets of my personality as annoying, loud, yet welcome family members who come to stay from time to time. the reality of my life is that i will always have to work a little harder to stay emotionally balanced, and my husband, oh my poor, sweet husband, has graciously declared himself to be "team des".

really the only reason i am writing about any of this is to bring a face to the condition. dear family, friends, and random readers, if you have ever felt any depth of sadness great enough to make sitting up in bed impossible, any pit of darkness that actually makes you consider your life unworthy to continue,

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

i know how un-alone i am. and i am grateful.

bringchange2mind.org

never too many bubbles

2010-06-14T16:55:00.001-07:00

i have taken a page from a friend and now have a bubble bath every night before bed. i will be the first to admit that i probably look like an idiot crammed into our tiny tub, maybe 14 inches deep and definitely not long enough, with bubbles all the way to my chin, legs hanging out or resting against the wall, and a book in my hands. i have figured it out just how to manage the whole book-in-the-bath thing. my secret? i turn off the faucet with my feet.

is that gross?

whatev. it keeps my hands dry.

my favorite unexpected little nugget of discovery with this new ritual is just how often rosie will come check on me. and when shes not laying on the bath mat on the floor, shes waiting for me in the hallway. or sniffing the bubbles and looking extra cute when a few foams stay on her beard.

grateful

2010-06-13T17:32:00.000-07:00

the walls of my home could tell you a lot about us.

mtv is a literal goldmine of time wasters

2010-06-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

we havent killed each other yet

2010-06-06T20:53:00.000-07:00

three years and very little blood shed. congrats to us.

vitamin DIY

2010-05-21T14:21:00.001-07:00

im a women obsessed.

there are many things i want, and unfortunately not enough money to buy them with. i am currently working on the following spontaneous projects, none of which are close to finished and are seemingly impossible to me at various times of the day:

flowers are blooming in the cute green pot out front, but the seedlings are looking crowded! they need to be transplanted into the ground, but before that can happen i must prep and weed and convince husband to help.

curtains. i am trying to make curtains. this alone makes me realize how freaking nuts i am. in a last ditch effort to save a few hundys, i am attempting to revamp the huge window in our living room with something homey, soft, and summery.

im loving my backyard and want to be out there everyday. when the weather is nice, rosie and i pack up a blanket, emma, and a tennis ball for her enjoyment and we lay and soak up some sun. so hopefully this poop rain will pass by soon leaving my air and lawn fresh and green so backyard recreation can be resumed. currently in the process of searching for outdoor furniture to make the yard even more appealing. every once in a while, my cheap side gets to talking and tells me i could make furniture... it cant be that hard, right? well this is where i stop myself and immediately make my mind shut up by getting on fbook or youtube or contemplating making my own "sassy gay friend" vids.

just what i needed today

2010-05-11T11:20:00.000-07:00

where have i been?

2010-05-06T17:48:00.000-07:00

yoga at bodyinfusion.com has kicked my trash. i am humbled so much that i couldnt peel an orange yesterday because my pecs are still so tender. there is my reason for lack of blog, and underwhelming introduction into May 2010.

also, Westminster interview is next week and im kind of freaking out.

send some peaceful energy my way, people!

chances are...

2010-04-26T20:37:00.001-07:00

that i love you and want to put you in my pocket and take you home with me. maybe feed you a few treats and make you nice peach iced tea and listen to you tell me all about your day. i will also insist on removing your shoes and socks so you can feel the new plush carpet squish between your toesies, and be sure that you get plenty of cuddle time with rosebud.

i have grown so much in the past year and now i have room to give back! it is absolutely necessary that we take care of each other. i have prayed for good people to come into my life to lift me back to where the light is, and now im bringing you up there with me.

forgive me, for i have sinned...

2010-04-20T16:33:00.000-07:00

i broke my cardinal rule last night when i bought a few groceries from wally world. i HATE that store with the fiery passion that some people feel towards ex boyfriends, brussel sprouts, VISA late charges, and brown and gold vinyl flooring! eesh! i will be steaming over that one forever! but seriously, i have so many problems with walmart that i surprised myself to bits to be putting my dollars into that company in exchange for low quality asparagus and an argument with spouse over the potential purchase of a $5 case of mountain dew.

for my repentance and hail mary's, colby and i are signing up for winder dairy. we are going to support local farmers and local cows - and i am willingly making the jump from one percent to skim. i love the idea of my bread and milk coming from across the valley instead of across the country.

okay, so it will cost a little more than the usual gallon of milk, but i am saving where it really counts: my sanity.

no more!

2010-04-17T18:25:00.000-07:00

if i find any more random patches of linoleum under the floor of my house i might just die. like really, did you seriously have brown and gold vinyl flooring in your bedroom?

you did?

hmm. that is so desperately 70s, and not in a good way. pictures to follow.

not to be wasted on anything sucky

2010-04-14T17:33:00.000-07:00

my 100th post - can you believe it? a room with a view is practically a household name by now... right? i dont want to waste this momentous opportunity by talking about my bland day, my slip and fall through the vent, the huge mosquito bite/indian jewel on my forehead, or by telling in depth of my love for cheese in any form.

so lets just say that we may be revisiting an event similar to this one someday in the future:

this room viewer loves you! and she loves dan bergstein.

http://community.sparknotes.com/2009/07/16/blogging-twilight-index-page

sister day

2010-04-08T15:50:00.000-07:00

me likey.

the only thing missing was a trip to see's.

sometimes i dream up that my entire family builds Richmond American homes in the development where colby and i pretended we could afford it, but we buy an entire cul de sac! awesome, right? sending the kids to auntie's house next door for an afternoon (me being auntie), running to sister neighbor's house for dinner on sundays... and how crazy amazing would the easter egg hunt have been?!

but then i remember the teensy possibility of getting annoyed with each other, or people being too much in other people's bidness, or the fact that this idea is insane and that the Lyneses are not the family from The Work and the Glory.

its fun to pretend for a minute. but for now, we are spread out all over and excitedly awaiting the completion of Frontrunner South to connect Davis with Utah. i just hope the kiddies are still into trains at that time of life...

brick

2010-03-31T15:03:00.000-07:00

colby and his dad were having it out last night over various unworthy argument subjects - rosie barking too much, how to best fix the floor in the third room, plans for easter, etc. maybe not so much actually arguing, but mike really raises his voice and pretty much yells at you so you have to yell back. functional, right? anyways, i was sitting in my cute brown chair drinking crystal light (as i am so often doing when i have an "aha" moment), letting this ridiculous exchange between two little boys really bother me, when i decided to tell myself that i dont care.

and can you believe what happened?

i actually didnt! it was amazing. i had zero control over the larger and more gray little boy, and though i like to think the other little boy is sometimes my marionnette, i remembered that i cant control what he does or says either. and if rosie barks its because she has something to say. and just like that,

i chucked the brick.

a few words on the last couple of days

2010-03-28T18:01:00.000-07:00

carpet - ever wondered what the bottom of your 1954 house looks like? pictures to follow sometime next week.

lobster dress - adorable and a little bit silly.

z tejas house made red salsa with blue corn tortilla chips - LOVE!

first ride in the red bull beast - not surprisingly exactly like when roger had to borrow the ugly flatbed truck from work and i was always embarrassed to be dropped off to school in it. once a brat, always a brat.

emma - first volume completed. love mr. knightley already.

blue embroidery summer scarf - the first of (hopefully) many summer acquisitions for hawaii in the fall.

free frazil fridays! - why did nobody tell me of this sooner??

babies - NO, not me, thank you very much. at least, not yet. but everyone in my ward! so exciting and wonderful to see all of the new littlest people making their debut.

and lastly, hope! - im loving my women's group. im loving the ladies i get to meet and i want to be friends with them and invite them over for herbal tea and brioche and tell them how awesome they are! im so inspired by their stories and i want to celebrate their small successes along with the big ones. it is amazing how much we can help each other.

OMG! where can i get mine?!?

2010-03-20T13:57:00.000-07:00

temper, temper...

2010-03-17T21:22:00.001-07:00

somebody did something naughty!

this anonymous individual acted on an impulse to kick something, namely the wall in the kindergarten kid's bedroom, and is not being forgiven easily by said kid. i think this whole scenario is hilarious and ripe for parody. ripe like betty white for snl - booyah! anyways, we discussed briefly how for about 30 seconds after doing something violent and crazy like this that you actually feel better. interesting, yes? i wonder what the trigger in our brains is like that switches from relief and general "take that, universe!" feelings, to guilt and disappointment. do you think there is a medication to rid us of our guily impulses? dude, there is a med for just about anything else out there, and if NoGuilt 20mg does not exist yet I am adding it to my list of ideas shortly to be patended, like Diet Lipgloss and ShoulderKnotsBeGone.

boo!

2010-03-14T15:14:00.000-07:00

daylight savings has totally messed with my mojo. flashback to this sleepy time:

today

2010-03-08T18:37:00.000-08:00

i met some great ladies that remind me of myself one year ago. i tried my best to tell them about the possibilities and adventures of getting your life back, but quite honestly it broke my heart to hear them say some of the things that i used to play over and over in my mind for years. i started crying when i tried to speak - the truth of it is that there is so little that even needs to be said to let some one know you understand them. and that you hope for better for them, even if they are unable to see the shiny bits of life that swirl around us. to say that im grateful to be feeling good is the most ludicrous understatement possible - i have myself back, even if its only a little bit at a time or that im grasping at straws somedays, i feel good to be me!

please be kind to yourself, dear readers. practice kind thoughts about you, and be compassionate when you come up short in life. you can be your own best friend.

and if you feel that last item to be impossible, you can borrow my best friend for as long as you need:

ah, the perfection that is a grilled cheese sandwich...

2010-03-05T19:51:00.000-08:00

what an eventless evening. husband is out with music loving friends, rosie content to lay on the couch cushions watching project runway, and im battling internally to not destroy the boxes of girl scout cookies that arrived today. i had a quiet dinner by myself - a beautifully carmelized sammy made on the good grandma bread with muenster cheese - and now im here blogging for you all. if any of you read me, that is.

dear people of the internet, i am seriously flawed just like every other human being. the difference between me now and the me one year ago is that im okay with my genuine self being maybe a little soft in the middle, laughing way too loud, crying when im pissed, and telling off the idiots in my life when they are out of line. and if any of you know me AT ALL, you will realize that this is huge. i have been (for close to 8 years now) trying to be everything to everyone - nurturing the people i love, listening to friends' terrible break up stories, encouraging them to grow and discover, trying to be the martha stewart in my home, patiently accepting advice from people that should never give it, etc. and truthfully, i love helping others and i feel like i have been blessed with a lot of empathy and need to spread it around. so if you have shared secrets with me and needed me in the past, its fine! im happy to help you because i love you. however, you will probably be hearing from me now soon. its my turn to ask for help. i am okay with people knowing that i struggle with life. im fine if my friends know that i fight with my mom every time i speak to her. its not a big deal if people see my house when its messy or me without makeup, which is pretty much all the time lately. i dont care if you see the cracks and stains of my life on me anymore.

i love my life and have been very blessed. the interesting discovery that has arisen out of this garbage dump situation is that PEOPLE DO CARE, OFTEN TIMES MUCH MORE THAN YOU THINK THEY DO. but we need to tell them that its okay to help us.

i have met a few really great women who have quite honestly saved me from myself. and i love you guys. im so grateful to be on the other side of this and see exactly how far i have been able to jump, stumble, trip, fall, and get up and walk to the good place im in today. it was because i was able to lean on you that i got here.

i am not perfect and i have no plans to ever be perfect. i also dont have any plans to do anything tonight except what me and rosie wanna do... we are home alone tonight and thats okay. me and pups love you and are happy to have friends that love us back.

two really awesome things

2010-03-02T14:40:00.000-08:00

my new scotchbrite cooktop cleaner truly is all that and a bag of chips.

and the cat-cake-adoption-announcement makes me smile, too.

it was better without you, anyways

2010-02-26T18:31:00.001-08:00

something disappointing happened this last week. but something awesome happened, too... so we are focusing on the awesome. i love colby, rosie, good friends, my adorable nieces and nephews, my subaru, new bottles of shampoo and conditioner to match, cash the doggie, my monkey balloon, payday, pandora.com, long chats on the phone, ice cream, the olympics, captain moroni, fresh socks, celebutard news, magazine subscriptions, a good nights rest, crystal light, pedicures, not waiting to sit down at restaurants, taking the train, my flower chair, anthropologie, ripe bananas, brushing my teeth, and ignoring people that suck - and making fun of them forever because of it.

sshhhhhh!

2010-02-20T06:36:00.001-08:00

tonight is colby's surprise party!

the best tv thing to happen to me since the real housewives of new jersey

2010-02-06T08:47:00.000-08:00

be nice

2010-01-24T11:55:00.000-08:00

aaahhh. insurance.

2010-01-13T20:03:00.000-08:00

guess what?

colby and i can officially get sick now, not that either of us have immediate plans to do so. i went into the doc today and got some 'scripts refilled and changed, and somebody finally took a look at my nasty cough that has been hanging on since the closing of 2009 - sinus infection. this bout where we went without has caused much doubt of our clout to stick it out(he he!), but somehow, amazingly, we both made this long stretch without serious illness.

now i just have to make sure colby doesnt get knocked up.

meatloaf

2010-01-07T18:33:00.001-08:00

why is mom's always better?

i tried a new recipe from my real simple magazine tonight - and it tasted fine, but it crumbled into a ground beef mess that wasnt the most aesthetically pleasing next to a pile of sour cream mashed potatoes and buttery corn. good thing colby didnt care or think anything of it, but he also didnt think i should care. but i did. and now i must vindicate myself in some meatloaf kind of way...

not exactly a complaint

2010-01-02T15:56:00.000-08:00

a lot has changed for us in the past seven months. when colby was let go from the refinery, the first thing to go was the jeep because the gas mileage was ridiculous (even for an SUV), the registration was up (and you'd be surprised how impossible $130 for emissions and safety and decals seemed to us then), and the jeep wasnt putting off good vibes for a healthy, long-lasting relationship. so we did what any struggling couple would do: dupe your younger brother into buying it off you for cheap and fixing it up for himself.

only a few months later did colby accidentally kill my car, my baby, the lil' biotch. she is currently buried under what looks to me like eight inches of snow in the driveway. sad.

so when these unfortunate events came to pass, our choice was to buy the suby, good ole all-wheel drive snow-kickin-butt hatchback, and we have thus far been able to juggle the one-car philosophy of life. i frequent the bus, we carpool to work, and plan ahead for pretty much every activity involving leaving the house.

i would say that 80 percent of the time, i handle this pretty well. just to clarify that I am the one who makes the sacrifice (no surprises there), colby always has the car and always does the driving. there were a few weeks in there where i didnt drive at all - and it felt pretty weird to finally sit behind the steering wheel when it was my turn. however, yesterday i did not handle this stranded pedestrian role very gracefully. there was a last minute family activity arranged in sandy yesterday afternoon, and because colby was at work and no buses or trains operated because of the holiday, i had no options but to beg my inlaws, walk the 35 miles, or quietly throw a tantrum because i was unable to attend. let me just say that two of the three actually came to pass.

so i guess what im trying to say to you is this:
DONT TAKE FOR GRANTED THE LITTLE THINGS!!
not even having your own car and the independence to come and go as you please. lets alter the focus for a minute to make myself feel better, shall we?

good things to happen since i stay home more often:
dishes are usually done
rosie always has a buddy
lots of books get read
i watch a lot of HBO and PBS (strangely complementary)

anyways, how am i doing you ask?
im okay. most days suffering from a raging cabin fever, but otherwise doing well. thanks for your concern.

a year in review

2009-12-31T11:44:00.001-08:00

the biggest part of my 2009.

it was one year ago when i finished school. what does the future hold in store for me now? graduate school? babies? should i pen a book on my exploits? all i really know is that im proud for finishing the one thing i promised myself i wouldnt mess up on (since heaven only knows how many mistakes i have made).

i loved school. really. i loved being around people who chose to learn. and the fact that these people didnt seek an education for financial profit, but for the shaping and improvement of the community, from the little people on up.

weloveyou

2009-12-20T09:40:00.000-08:00

if you doubt your worth or importance in your life, remember these two ladies and that we love you and will lick your elbows and ears and bake away your worries with breads and cookies. and pups will most likely bark at you until you acknowledge her with tickles and ball-play. see? life is good.

marie antoinette called - she needs her bread back

2009-12-12T10:17:00.001-08:00

"qu'ils mangent de la brioche" does not mean "let them eat cake" - the woman was talking about the custardy, eggy, rich goodness known as brioche ... and now i know why. i got the book Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day for Christmas myself from colby (any married woman will understand that sentence), and the book has already proven itself useful if the only thing i learn is how to make this dessert bread.

i debated whether or not to share this info. let me clarify that i halved this recipe, and it still called for 4 eggs and 1 1/2 sticks of butter. the pic of the butter melted just about stopped my heart for two reasons:

12 T of butter melted looks like a LOT
and because butter is my truest of loves

action shot of mixer doing what she does best.

my baking buddy. she waits patiently and doesn't judge me for random curses when the dough doesn't rise or when the batter sticks to EVERYTHING it touches. im pretty sure i had to sacrifice one-sixth of the dough to this cause.

finished product. brooke took this pic and subtly included a tribute to our school.

chocolate variation - which incidentally was the best baking misstep ever made in the history of baking missteps. well, tied for first with the guy who ruined his cake and made brownies instead.

me being cheesey and wirey eyed after today's adventure. the hundreds of calories were worth it. 'tis the season, eh?

just you wait

2009-12-09T21:25:00.001-08:00

this puppy will knock some serious socks.

dear santa (or colby or whoever's listening)

2009-12-06T15:14:00.000-08:00

i NEED:

a baking/pizza stone
Nielson-Massey vanilla
new wallet and purse combo
(although i would prefer them not to match - vintage-y style)

i WANT:
one industrial size container of nutella
new bedding, a quilt since our down comforter causes hot flashes
a 30 minute (at least!) shoulder squeeze
followed by a pedicure
a sewing machine
a new board game - maybe Settlers

for PRETEND DREAMING:
laser hair removal
life breathed back into Lil B
awesome job where i am changing lives and making differences
finally that trip to Greece i've been hoping for since 2005

specific enough? i have been famous for my christmas wish lists since i was a kid and would mention not only what gift i wanted, but where it could be found, what color, size, and how much it would cost. im amazing.

its that time again

2009-11-22T11:58:00.000-08:00

i love this coat.

and i love that winter and christmas and parties and goodies and snow flurries and presents are coming. and that rosie will be able to wear her christmas sweater again!

i heart dan bergstein

2009-11-19T18:03:00.000-08:00

i found him whilst prepping for book group. hilarity ensued.

Chapter Eight: Adrenaline
Better Title: The Adventures of Bossy Bella and Jacob the Shirtless Wonder

Bella is anxious to ride her motorcycle for the first time. Jacob makes sure she knows where the brakes, gear shifts, and clutch are located before letting her drive. She's scared, but says that she can do this because she has already "lived through the worst thing possible." Worst thing possible? Really? She better be talking about the time she stormed the beaches of Normandy on D-day, or else her comment comes across as very naive. Breaking up with your boyfriend, even if he sparkles, is not the worst thing in the world. There are far worse things that can happen, such as:

Slowly dying from an incurable disease.
Watching a loved one perish after her scarf (which you bought her for Christmas) gets caught in a helicopter propeller.
Losing the Olympic Marathon by three-tenths of a second.
Being buried (or eaten) alive.
Missing out on the factory tour because of your stupid peanut allergies.
Running out of food during the storm of the century and being forced to choose between eating your cat, your dog, or your own fingers.
Getting a sunburn moments before going to a sweater party.

des again. the best part is that after each post, dan will make a prediction of what comes next.

Prediction: After searching for a few days, Jacob and Bella locate the meadow of love. There they find Edward caressing Bella's mom's face and saying, "You smell even better then Bella, and you're much less whiny. Plus, you can buy me cigarettes…Oh crap! Hi Bella. 'Sup Jacob? We were just…uh…planning Bella's surprise party, weren't we, Rene?" Nine minutes of awkward silence follows.

he is so funny! if you need to kill an hour or so before you geek out to death over the big box office night, i won't judge you because i obviously just spent large amounts of time reading his critiques and giggling about the pics he draws.

other reasons to follow his blog:
currently reading eclipse and keeping a running tally of how many times edward glowers and bella mumbles.
draws werewolves with jetpacks on.

http://community.sparknotes.com/2009/07/16/blogging-twilight-index-page

dude.

2009-11-03T18:20:00.000-08:00

please for my birthday i would like:

carrot cake without nuts

the cute green purse that just went on sale at anthro

an entire day where "snowboarding" is not spoken of

a well behaved doggy

15 minute shoulder squeeze

hand-signed cards from the babies and sisters

and my beer rebate checks to come

that would be just fab.

what i happily lost my weekend to:

2009-10-26T18:42:00.000-07:00

red chicken chili that simmered in the CP for 8 hours, and then disappeared at the cook off faster than anybody else's - hello! a hearty (get the chili reference?) shout out to big sis steph for the recipe. and a house full of babies. even though they aren't really babies anymore, they will always be age 2 and age 5 to me, like how patty thought i was 8 for like 4 years. it was an
adventure, thats for sure.

and finally - colby's latest vid game and my latest pseudo crush:

nate from "uncharted 2". i have always been a fan of watching vid games when they are clever and have a fun story, and this one is especially great because the hero has an a%# that doesn't quit! i mean, check out the jeans!! wrangler butts drive me nuts!!

a few suggestions

2009-10-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

due to my current under-the-weather status, i have spent much of this last week glued to a tv screen when my head isn't glued to a pillow. here are my recommendations, in no particular order, of how to occupy your time should you find yourself down with the swizine:

17 again - zcefron has the most delicious hair i have ever seen. and its not nearly as annoying as you think it will be. jan levenson-gould holds her own.

the rocker - recommended by our bishop, believe it or not.

austrailia - long but worth it. beautifully filmed, plus hugh is delicious.

john adams from hbo - why haven't we heard more from abigail? she is the reason john was the way he was! very good portrayal of forward-thinking people. and david mccullough spoke at my graduation so there.

despereaux - and dont even laugh! its so cute and so sweet and the perfect story for girls.

adventureland - i heart jesse eisenberg. wow! kristen stewart is a good little actress!

and fired up - an irreverent response to 'bring it on'.

who's the obsessed one now?

2009-10-04T13:34:00.000-07:00

so last night, we were headed to see zombieland with a couple of friends (movie was AWESOME by the way) and i was grump-central because colby made us late and we missed every preview. something about having to kill a big beetle in an alternate reality called world of warcraft. and if you know me at all, theres nothing i love more than highly anticipated previews and making fun of ones that look totally sucky - so all in all, things not going so hot. when i voiced my complaint to colby, things went a little like this:

me: i cant believe we are missing the previews! its the best part about paying 8 bucks to see a movie - knowing what will suck before the dollar-theater-goers.

colby: well, they won't show the twilight preview, anyway.

(long silence while i contemplate that and colby no doubt thought about $5 popcorn)

me: what do you mean they won't show the twilight preview? who said anything about the twilight preview? its a freaking zombie show - thats like saying 'well, they won't show the princess and the frog preview'.

colby: didn't you say twilight?

me: no.

colby: oh. im pretty sure you did.

and im pretty sure he likes twilight as much as any giggly, blushing girl but will never admit to daydreaming about jacob black - his latest object of admiration.

so anyways, this brief clip is for him. and you can enjoy it too.

i am so buying this

2009-09-18T18:13:00.001-07:00

i know its pretty dumb, but it might be cute over a shade tee with a big-deal necklace or under a schlumpy cardigan, right?

wish i though of this first

2009-09-06T09:08:00.000-07:00

why, hello september

2009-09-05T08:04:00.000-07:00

reasons this september will be the best september ever:

no commute to the U or knife fights over parking spots. there is grass where there was no grass before. tulips? i want to experiment with bulbs since my last adventure in minutia with flora was dreadfully unsuccessful. there is much that a part-time employee can enjoy outdoors in these autumn months, and since the good ole 470 is my preferred mode of transport, i thoroughly enjoy my strolls to and from the bus stop in breezy, tree lined kaysville. and lets not forget the colors that suddenly appear in farmington canyon about this time.

just how much H can the westerns raise?

2009-08-28T12:28:00.000-07:00

perfectly embodies my fear of all things loopdie loop and upside down. i was so brave.

sabotage! oh and thanks to t and b for sending these lovely pics of our shared coke day lagoon adventure.

i never did find out the actual cost of this icee, but i know it was a pricey icee and therefore the best icee ever devoured by 4 thirsty big kids.

and one normal pic to show the world we know how to be cute when the time is right.

ima gonna do somethin' great

2009-08-08T08:22:00.001-07:00

like start a garden full of red potatoes, jalapenos, carrots, tomatoes, and zuchini. like pick up sewing where i left off in junior high and actually create something i can feel proud of - not that my crooked seamed teddy bear doesn't make me sing, but he's looking a little haggard these days. i want to make a patchwork quilt and a potato zuchini pizza all in the same season. possible? we shall see!

2009-08-03T00:24:00.000-07:00

Des is the greatest! Yesterday she cleaned my parents dirty house and today she watched me and Jordan play football on the PS3. I think she and the pup deserve extra treats this week! Rosie has to have doggie treats though cuz she poops everywhere when she eats chocolate!!!
I love you Desiree.
PS - This is Colbusdumbledor and I'm asking you to join Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with me this year!

ack!

2009-07-27T18:39:00.000-07:00

how is already almost august?!?

introducing...

2009-07-22T16:28:00.000-07:00

the iphone.
and if you are any hipper than me (not a difficult thing to be) you already have one and have mastered the gentle touch sliding and scrolling. this exciting new development is sponsored by colby+colby's little brother and their competitive natures exhibited perfectly via madden smackdown falcons v. steelers. the winner gets the iphone - obviously, the winner was colby who in turn gifted the beauty to me. she is not currently in phone status, but so far i have thoroughly enjoyed the solitaire app and perusing the previous owner's photos.

messes and successes

2009-07-13T11:39:00.000-07:00

i love to cook. i dont always love to eat what i cook, however. so im pondering this predicament as i prepare myself mentally for the kaysville first ward cookbook, first edition. they have asked each family to contribute at least one (ahem) "successful" recipe to be added to the book. glad they clarified that.

and part of me is thinking
"but if i cook it well, dont i kinda want it to be my little secret?"

and im not the only housewife thinking that, right? i cant be. so anyways, im here thinking which recipe im willing to part with, which one i can be proud to have associated with my name. let me know which you approve of.

pizza on the grill
lemon butter pasta
famous cilantro salsa
best damn chocolate cake (reluctantly, i will edit the name)
french bread rolls

and thats it! i wont part with any more!

this pup doesnt bark anymore

2009-06-30T15:12:00.000-07:00

its official: rosie is the perfect dog.

the "collar of death" - though hesitantly condoned by myself - has indeed done its duty. just in case you didnt hear, rose was visiting her puppy best friend lola at colby's parents' house when a grouchy anonymous neighbor called ANIMAL CONTROL like she was some rabid german shepherd or something. all that for a little excited barking.

oh well.
she has already forgiven the awful secret neighbor and myself for the ocaisional jolt she was given. oh and just so you can all see how soft im getting in my married old age, i bawled like a baby the first time it shocked her bad - she was outside and started rubbing her neck across the lawn to get it off - so sad! and we used to say all the time that she would be the best dog ever if we could just get her to bark a little less. and now it has come to pass!! i was so worried it would change her sweet little personality and that she might get depressed about it, but she seems pretty sturdy about the whole thing. i've been sure to reward her with extra tickles and plenty of play time, so im certain she is still the happy go lucky pup she has always been.

anybody need a dealer?

2009-06-23T18:26:00.000-07:00

this does indeed mean what you think it means. the westerns are back in business! colby will most likely be stationed in bountiful, and im certain will look just adorable in coca cola red.

guess what!

2009-06-19T12:16:00.000-07:00

there are apple buds on our tree!

brooklyn harbor, new york

2009-06-08T15:49:00.000-07:00

ode to neil:
"TODAY! TODAY!"

can you see mini lady liberty over my shoulder? i felt slightly underwhelmed when we saw her because we were looking from a big A cruise ship so she looked not-so-special as you might think. brooke said she really is quite majestic so we shall take her word for it.

fogalicious.

me waiting patiently in my new fav tee for something to appear out of the fog. it was... oh i dunno... like five freaking thirty or something! longest day ever, but im glad we went out on deck to see the city.

the first thing we saw upon arrival - buildings gradually came into view once we got out of the foggy midst. so beautiful. this was a great trip, but im glad to be home (even though it was a few weeks ago) and im happy to be back to real life. i dont know when we will be able to do something like this again, but im glad we shared the opportunity with each other and good friends. and not to be cheesey, but everyday while we were gone exploring these beautiful sites, i felt my heart swell up with gratitude for what my Heavenly Father created for us. that He was mindful of our needs to see nature's grandeur with big flower-covered green hills and glass-clear seas. i wish i could have taken all of you with me. much love.